my pussy is not for your judgement.

fuck bobby hemmitt:



1) i have earned every last hair on my pussy. so has every other woman on this earth. female circumcision, sexual assault/ abuse, loveless lives, babies, just the general drama that is encapsulated in being a black woman on this earth . . . man, fuck you and your opinions. i bet your balls stink though, right? with the obvious folds in btwn your head and neck, motherfucker, i am willing to believe that's a trend all over your body.

2) the "it's from africa" shit is so tired. SO beat. leave it alone. dry that bullshit up, & stop duping ppl into talking to your dumb ass. what's wrong, you scared? wtf did the pussy hair ever do to you? and again, asshole, worry about the cleanliness of your own genitals. hair doesn't make a pussy not worth eating or adoring. it just makes it hairy.

3) he's hilarious for the same reason that he's a thorn in my side: he's got that TKON brand of intelligence, that "let's call it african but maintain the same oppressive patriarchal bullshit" thing. hate it.

4) who's fucking him? really?

i tried sooooo hard

to avoid reality tv. no flavor of love, no i love new york, i refuse to look at celebrity fit club or college hill. but you know what? i've been had, my sweet babies. felled by the most preposterous reality show yet: ego trip's miss rap supreme. this is like making the band meets the bad girls' club, pressed down & shaken together about 12 times. good god. it's more drama than i care to even associate with on a regular basis.
but mc serch and yo-yo? at the same time? in the same place? giving pointers to women who think themselves the next trina, lil' kim, foxy brown, or . . . khia? it's the perfect formula for absolute foolishness. so, i watch it.

my other favorite is viva hollywood, the telenovela star search. i can't even begin to tell y'all how thankful i was to see that they have a slapping-across-the-face challenge. YES. sweet! and charo is involved. what more could a girl ask for?!

swagger jacked

from the butch caucus
(it wouldn't let me customize the title i wanted, so i chose ninja instead of typing in "boocakes," "jawn," or "jumpoff")



and you know i'm dead ass serious, right?

i did it because it felt good.

i ate that whole container of hummus
devoured that bottle of cheap ass white wine
walked around my apartment in just a pair of heels -- by myself
watched some porn
flirted endlessly with no desire to take it further
bought that pair of lace panties
cut all my hair off
slathered myself in coconut oil
stayed in bed an extra three hours
packed a bowl & smoked myself silly
enjoyed a sandwich with two kinds of meat and a cheese on it
wore a skirt w/ no panties underneath
copped a pair of sexy shoes for no apparent reason
fucked around w/ your homeboy
got some extensions put in my head
drank a whole pitcher of lager & three shots
danced w/ a girl
gave out a fake name @ the club
went bonkers on the clearance rack
got my nails done
kissed a baby
smiled at strangers & said 'good morning'
started a blog
spent 30 minutes in the dressing room & didn't buy shit
ignored that phone call
had a glass of wine w/ lunch on a monday
wore jewelry that didn't match my outfit
left work early to go on a weekend trip
pretended to be younger than i am
lied & said i was older
downloaded an album
wore some crazy looking outfit
called someone a dirty name
got nasty on the mic
played dumb
snickered when someone got fired
called out sick just so i could have sex all day . . .

maferefun sango!!!

kawo! kabiyesile!

thank you, baba, for sending my brother my way. i love love love LOVE that boy to pieces. thank you. we are each other's cheer leader, each other's comic relief, & most importantly we have a taciturn understanding that can be expressed simply by the raising of an eyebrow. my brother is so sharp, too. thank you for bringing a sharply dressed black man around me, one who actually compliments me and means it. he is not trying to sleep with me (not that i know of). he is socially conscious, and gives a damn about his folks. he will entertain my conversations about all things sociopolitical, & never once calls me 'too smart.' we crack nerd jokes & he never, ever, EVER tells me i think too much/ too hard.

i'm blessed to have a friend like vsf. i love that crazy child. i do.

adupe.

now look, dammit

i don't know who all on earth might find themselves browsing this blog. & i know the language or the random rants about r. kelly might throw you off. you may even feel inclined to stop reading because i talk about sex freely & don't have any trouble discussing my occasional toke. but if there's any one thing you need to know about me, it's that i do not think domestic abuse is acceptable or okay in any situation. it just isn't. i'm not hearing that "he's a good person" shit, i don't care if "all she did was" hit you once. i don't give a rat's ass. it's not okay. the idea that your abuser has any redeeming qualities, to me, is a damn joke. they nullify all of those things once they choose to put their hands on you, once they put forth any effort to control you by using violence. i do not believe that there's any dialog to be had, there's no reason to try to work it out. the first thing you need to do is get away. the second thing you need to do is stay away. if there's a need to return to a home you share w/ the abuser, have someone escort you (preferably the police or other neutral party) & get your shit. don't negotiate. don't let the begging & pleading & all that other hot bullshit be part of the equation, if you can help it. get out, get away, stay gone. if there are children involved, of course it's not that easy. but there are ways out. please don't ever think there aren't. please.

this post was inspired by juanita bynum's interview with fox 5 atlanta regarding her having been attacked by her now-estranged husband, thomas weeks. she had a press conference the other day. i'm really kind of ecstatic that sis chose to announce that domestic violence in the church isn't just about the church, but something that crosses boundaries. i'm thankful that she can say that unflinchingly. i hope that she's genuine in her stance. i hope that she is really, fully okay with taking on the mantle of being an anti-domestic violence advocate. i really hope she's sincere. she has so many ppl who buy her books and watch her on tv, etc. she is in a position to demonstrate positive things to so many folks.
i hope she does turn this around.

hold the motherfuckin phone! (part 2)

now, i love me some amy winehouse. i do. both of her albums are in constant rotation w/ me -- work, home, it doesn't matter. i love her music. it was such a real treat to see her at the black lily concert (even though ?uestlove screwed the song up -- don't ask me how i know that; i have sources), & if i'm on a youtube kick, i'm likely to look up her videos.

but this makes me sad.

*sigh* i hate to see ppl doing this kind of shit to themselves. i mean, she told perez hilton a different story than what's largely being reported, & if it's true, then fine. but that doesn't mean she shouldn't be treating herself better, if possible. if homegirl's cutting herself, that means something's bothering her. she cancelled the north american tour, so i hope she really takes the time to get shit sorted out. one can only hope, right?

she reminds me so much of this girl i went to high school with...

messin w/ the camera phone again

i dunno
i was bored
& honestly, i was avoiding doing laundry (note the crumpled dress under my head, next to the pillow)

my hair looks like kiwi fuzz. lmao. i need either a haircut or some serious dedication to growing my 'fro out. at the moment i'm considering hollering at the malian sisters who braid hair in my neighborhood. i think i could bring back the kanekalon or body wave 10 inch for a few months. maybe. i'm not patient enough to sit for microbraids anymore. lol.

last night

was a breath of fresh god. i laughed, ate, drank, loved, played, & generally enjoyed ppl w/ whom i love to commune. i mean, wow. i really had fun.

i need to get yani & foster their own tv show.

karas, thank you SO much for opening your home to us
we'll celebrate extra hard when you c-walk down the aisle in may next year
i love you for being your generous, wild self
next time you need a box of jeezis aych, holla @ your girl

xo

this negro has lost his fucking mind, once & for all.

y'all know i'm talkin about arruh kelly, right? trapped in the closet chapter 13, in just enough time for his kiddie porn charges to go to trial.

the "oh, shit" thing is priceless.

this time, insanity is funny.

(links courtesy of crunk & disorderly)


** addendum**

ladies & gentlemen, i present to you the zoo, in all its ridiculousness. unfortunately this isn't a whole performance, but y'all get the gist.

i call bullshit on the following:

~ the idea that michael vick is essentially about to be strung up by his balls because of the dog fighting that went on in a house that he owned, but did not live in. it sounds fishy to me. everyone has ignorant ass cousins who do stupid shit & embarrass the family. unfortunately, michael vick's ignorant ass cousins might land him in jail. seriously, tell me some of y'all out there on the interwebs don't belive that you'd have every triflin criminal record having relative knocking down your door if you came into some money. i don't believe that he knew what was going on. how base are this guy's cousins though, to be dog fighting in the basement of someone else's house? family or not, if you're living in a place that you don't own there's certain shit you just don't do. & i'm pretty sure animal torture & causing bloodshed are at least in the top ten of that list. lock those fools up, absolutely . . . but don't throw the baby out w/ the bathwater. i think vick deserves to have his situation examined more closely. furthermore, if he were as guilty as his kinfolk et al, wouldn't they all have the same 5-member legal team helping them? i'm just sayin.

~ this bullshit on the def jam isley brothers' page. you mean to tell me that on july twenty-damn-fifth you ask the internet to pony up support for ron isley in the form of asking for a presidential pardon? do y'all even know who the president IS? he hates black ppl, & from what i recall of his tenure as governor of texas, he's a fan of jail & the death penalty. y'all are barking up the most wrong of trees. especially at this late date -- the sentence begins august 7th. not that the gov't would bend on that shit. income tax evasion isn't gonna be an easy rap to beat. plus he's already been convicted. tsk, tsk. does this mean that is wesley snipes gets a similar sentence that blackamericaweb.com is gonna be leading the charge to help him out? negro PLEASE. ** let us also recall that ron isley is good buddies w/ arruh "piss on you" kelly. why doesn't r. release one of his patented "i'm in trouble so lemme saing sumfin about god" songs to help mr. biggs? hmmmmmm?

~ lindsay lohan's proclamation that she was wearing someone else's pants. a "black kid." & they had the coke in them. right. also, that she wasn't driving the car. someone is most likely going to kick her ASS when she gets locked up. let's get this straight. you were neither driving nor wearing your own goddamn pants. so if she wasn't completely trashed, we're supposed to believe that she was sober & wearing someone else's pants? come on. (i didn't really have to call bullshit on this one, it's obvious, but still...)

~ this new thugged out looking alvin & the chipmunks movie. you can't be fucking serious, dog. you just can't. jason lee, as freshalina would say, needs more people. i'm disappointed. i like my chipmunks old school & fully 1960's middle america friendly. attitudinal chipmunks don't sit well w/ me. are the chipmunks gonna do all the latest negro dance crazes like the soulja boy, the batman, & the jump rope? oh, wait. there's a song but no video: the chipmunks crank dat jump rope. i am loosely amused, but mostly annoyed because i'm tired of black folks embarrassing themselves in the name of "self-expression." i'm all for innovation, but this is becoming a lot more ridiculous than it is anything else. besides, the soulja boy pooh clip is 20x funnier.

i wasn't gonna write

about the whole n-word funeral thing that the NAACP had last week. but then i read in the little brother blog how phonte feels about it. i'm in agreement w/ mr. c oleman for the most part. that is, black folk will not magically be better on the whole if/ when everyone stops using this word. most importantly, it seems like treating the symptom instead of curing the disease. the subversion of language is pretty much the norm nowadays. case in point: "she's a bitch" by missy elliott, "o.g. bitch" by esthero, "the baddest bitch" by the ever-relevant trina. . . like, what about THAT word? everyone's all super emo after the don imus thing, as if his racism should be the sole catalyst for change around here. he blamed hip hop for the "nappy headed hoes" thing because he knew he could cop out to that. that motherfucker knows full well, just like any other thinking being, that the idea that black women are automatically whores &/ or have bad (read: nappy, kinky, etc.) hair came from white folks. some of us are reclaiming that terminology as well. so what, are we choosing which words we wanna flip for our own empowerment? has there been an international black folk conference about that?

cuz, yeah, there's been the store called niggas
& if i go to ghana some folks may mistake me for one who likes being called "bitch" or whatever,
but yo . . .

burying any of these words doesn't mean shit to me when the babies are dying the way they are. don't blame that on the word nigga. unemployment & desperation will not magically cease when we stop calling ourselves and others niggas, bitches, hoes, or anything else.
because even if i don't use the word, i know what i mean when i say "that motherfucker ain't shit," because i mean to insult or harm someone with my words. that's not contingent on the verbs, nouns, pronouns or adjectives. it's on me & the power that the person hearing them gives the words.
i don't know . . . let's not put a band aid on a severed limb, okay?
if we don't respect or love each other, the words don't mean shit
the acts mean everything
& who's to say there won't be another word to offend?

(i might come back to clean this up later)

*quick addendum: if i had written here about don imus as a cracka ass cracka, then what? ofay? honky? oyimbo? like . . . are we gonna bury those words too? cuz if we are then maybe i can clap my hands to the burial of nigga. otherwise, get out of my face w/ that bullshit & go DO something in the streets instead of being mad at what the streets are doing.