ain't a lot i can say.

ran into a former paramour. the dope boy. he's quite obviously on that shit. it hurts my heart. i never thought we were gonna be some great power couple, nor did i ever think i'd lay eyes on him again. but damn. did he really have to go and do the very same shit he pushed on the block? i pray that whatever happens, his suffering be minimal & that he achieve his highest destiny. we were never close or anything but all i really ever want for anyone is that they find peace inside so they don't have to be the junkie everyone's afraid of/ looking down upon. i'm really at a loss for him.

it's about that time of year again. monae's been gone nearly a year. she was the child of my mother's first cousin. they were part of the only branch of my grandmother's family who lived even remotely close to us in mt. airy. and i rarely saw her as we got older. school, work, social lives . . . all those things kept us from being close. youth. lack of foresight. of course, i'd have been in that girl's back pocket if i knew she was gonna leave here before she could even see her 22nd birthday. i think it might have been mutual for her, too. but, at the same time, i'm okay w/ how things were. there's nothing that can be done about what's already gone on. i can't forget the last time i saw her. i'll make sure i put something out for her & my grandmother on their birthday. iba ara t'orun monae. iba ara t'orun momzie.

there's transitioning going on all over my life. work, home, all sides of me. i need to keep both feet on the ground, so as not to be swept away by these gradual and/ or sweeping changes.
there's much to be done...