i would complain about it

but it's what i asked for.
i wanted to communicate with you only in dreams. clearly, & with no punches pulled. last night/ this morning, you asked for the chance to talk to me. i said i needed to think about it. a mutual friend was the one i told this to in the dream -- i presume that this person was the conduit of that energy, he represented the path. if you'd come to me any other way, i wouldn't have accepted it. it was a lot for me -- you know i have some serious anxiety about dealing with you. but i've been touched by the dream; i understand. i know. i wonder if your dream was the flip side of what i just experienced. even if it wasn't, i'm good. for now, i'm okay w/ dreams. you have to have my permission to reach me, anyway. this is just another way for me to let go. it's really easy to say that past hurts shouldn't be able to reach you, but fuck that. we're human. we're super sensitive to traumatic and hurtful things no matter how we allow them to manifest. i respect your humility. you don't have to try to reach me in the waking world. i already know. it's okay. say peace, and let's leave it at that. whatever happens next is up to our ori and the universe at large.

*an end note:

i know you show up every time i dream of you. i can't stop you. but if we engage w/ each other in the waking world i want you to act right, okay? don't make an ass of yourself or make me wanna wish you harm. thanks.